The Faith in My "If..."

I've never been a "When I get the job..." girl or a "when I get married..." girl or a "When I have children..." girl or a "When I live in my dream home..." or a "When I travel to..." girl.

I've always been an "If I get the job..." girl and an "If I get married..." girl and an "If I have children girl..." and an "If I live in my dream home..." and an "If I travel to..." girl.

Some people have a problem with this.

They tell me to replace my "If" with "When."

They say things like, "Speak in FAITH, girl!" or "Believe it and you'll receive it."

And this has always stung.

Because

My "if" is full of faith.

My "if" is evidence of surrender.

My "if" is the crossroads of hope and contentment.

My "if" is the result of many midnight talks with Jesus

My "if" is a promise to serve Him joyfully EVEN IF my life doesn't match the pretty pictures in my mind.

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When I think about a faith-FULL "if," I think about Esther.

Esther famously said, "If I perish, I perish."

At this moment, Esther wasn't doubting God's ability; she was recognizing God's sovereignty.

There was faith in Esther's "If."

Esther knew her success was not guaranteed, but her obedience was required. She recognized God's vision for her life extended beyond her view of the present circumstances.

Esther courageously leaned into her biggest "if" and trusted God to meet her there.

Esther also physically, mentally, and spiritually prepared herself in the in-between time. She prayed and fasted. She asked her community to rally around her. She dressed for success in her "royal garments" when the big day arrived.

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Like Esther, I want to be a woman of faith-FULL "ifs."

Today, I declare God's sovereignty over my life.

In all of my "ifs," I will continue to

prepare. I will continue to pray. I will continue to fast. I will continue to lean on my community. I will continue to dress the part- clothing myself in daily reminders of my status- a Daughter of the King.

I will worship my way through every "if."

IF I don't get the job, IF I don't marry, IF I don't have children, IF I never live in my dream home, IF I don't cross all the countries off my bucket list, I have this confidence: My life will still be beautiful and purposeful.

This is the faith in my "IF."